To OnStar, if a car is running the 1/4 miles in 11 seconds flat, then it MUST be experiencing a catastrophic emergency of some sort.
Isn't it nice that they are so concerned you might have crashed? On the other hand, that call presents a bit of challenge for the driver trying to explain what happened. "I'm just, ugh, you know, going to work this morning... Just another day in the office, sort of."